[VP-K comes out to the ring opposite an empty stool. VP-K looks at the camera which is rolling]
VP-K - Hello? Where is Steve?
UFW Crew - Uh, he's moved to Bali living the good life.
VP-K - He's in a dumpster somewhere isn't he?
UFW Crew - Well that's what we think. He's gone missing. We got a whole search party looking for him in every bin in the city.
VP-K - You sent out Bob didn't you?
UFW Crew - Yes. But you can just go ahead and we'll film it and put it on the shoot night. Whatever you say is the last word that will be heard from the VPs ever.
VP-K - What about VIP?
UFW Crew - Yes, well, we've given up on him ever showing up.
VP-K - Oh... OK. I'll make the last word a goody. Here I go:
Well, after 7 whole months of blood and sweat, it's the last EVER UFW PPV. Whoa. Well, we've been told to blow our tops over anyone oreveryone we just don't like. Well, I myself have a very long list of these people. Let's start with staff. The staff's most annoying quibbles are:
for VP-L: TOO DAMNED ORGANISED. He's always there, which is often a good thing, but sometimes a bad thing. I hate how he goes around and makes a big thing about being so organised and how I am not. I don't wanna blow my top at him or nothing, cos he is a good friend (look at me, I have net friends!!). I remember some great times I had with him, during the time that he first got the prez role and I didn't know it was him. We chatted over email, I was talking sometimes to Layeth at a different email account, and sometimes as Prez, that was great fun. I was eventually told by my friend Campbell (controller of Biatch in Tights/Insomniac) that he was Layeth and I chatted with only one of him (I imagine he wouldn't have found it easy at all, being two people at once!). I've experienced time as the Prez, and screwed it up majorly. I really despised him for a short time after he formally removed me from the role, but later found him to have done what was definately best for the fed. I would definately have liked to see my tron update uploaded, it may experience a re-fleshing some time, but well... NEXT!
for VP-M: I've known him for longer than anyone. He was one of the first people I ever met on the net, and I believe if I hadn't met him, the fed wouldn't be as big as it is. I found him over ICQ. I searched the databases for fans of my favourite show in the world, Red Dwarf. I found a huge list of people until I came to one whose ICQ Username was 'Undertaker 666'. I blew my top. Someone I found in about 5 seconds who likes Red Dwarf and WWF?? I immediately sent him a message saying (and I quote): 'Do you like Red Dwarf AND wrestling?'. The response was a plain old 'yep' and I was sure I must have been talking to myself when we chatted about stuff ranging from the current state of WWF, our favourite Red Dwarf episodes (which were being screened at the time. Mine is still Queeg). To cut a long story short, he sent me two URLs, one for his fed, UFW, and one for the biggest fed at the time, EWFonline. Well, I went to both and sent them both join forms. I was 'Killer K. Kicker' or 'K.K.K'. If I had known how very distasteful this was, I would've re-done my character... but I didn't... and I didn't. Well, I was accepted into UFW instantly as Killer Kaos Kicker which later became Killer Kaos, which later became Killer K. which even later became Kaos. My idea of an RP was a match, and I wrote a decent one too! But it got me nowhere, and being one who got on the net 5 times a month, was quickly fired after the second card at which I lost to Howler (urgh!). I still talked to him however, and after a long time as friends, I rejoined and came online 3 or 4 times a week to talk to him and do an RP (of which I still have many, if only I had kept my ??? debut post [For those who need reminding, it was the one where all the mobile phones went heywire, and then I beat innocent people to pulps and left in a huff with the famous sledgehammer]... if only!!). Well the frequency of my appearances became more frequent when I talked to Myst more and challenged my school friend, Iceman, for his TV title and won. At the time, I had invited 3 of my wrestling-fan friends to join UFW, B.I.T., The Body, and Iceman. These were very successful and I aspired to be The Body and challenge the immortal Layeth The Smack Down for his World Title. When i first joined UFW, there were 2 members. Layeth, and Blazing Inferno (later Myst [for full story, see http://myst.ufw-efed.com]). Now onto this guys most annoying quibble... his tendency to edit my work. Yes, I wrote half of the Hardcore and US title match (the second half) and found my gem of such hawrd work massacred to follow the story lines of the match. GRR...
for VIP: I was good friends with Mike for a long time. I talked to him over email alot after finding that the person that had joined my humble federation, IPW, as Steffan Den Balgar (later Michael "King Cobra" Roche) was infact Mike Nightmare at UFW. I talked for hours with him and later found he had ICQ and talked for longer. I really wish I could talk to him now like I used to then. Well he later joined ??? in true sporting fashon by beating up the hapless Jaguar and we talked more. Eventually we slowed down talking as he got further and further into college and now we hardly get to speak at all. We've had some great times, and some really great times, and the only quibble is that he wasn't there for long enough for me to develop quibbles with him!
for VP-N: Well Eddie, you've sung our song, you've had a song written about you, you were a great fan of Monty Python and the infamous Spam song. I talked with you a great deal at the beginning and I just can't believe you kept this up in year 11. I can't believe it. I'd expect you to be out picking up chicks, but instead, you are writing brilliant cards, with brilliant angles. I wish I could've done the same. Well your quibble is with the fact that you started us off on the lateness trip and were alot like myself as a prez.
for VP-T: Mo, you were a great, great, great friend. I intend on keeping in good touch over ICQ. You are funny, and a great person. You are friends with my friend Zoe and although you tell her that I like her, you are fun to talk to. When you come online, I talk immediately cos you are my good friend and I do wanna know that we are still friends. You are a great friend and want to keep in touch, definately. You also, however, should be out playing the field, not in writing RPs. You made a bastard of a character but the back stab was great fun to do and I would love to do something e-feddy with you again sometime. I think that you were always the funnest one and if UFW ever had a good faithful card-writer, it'd be VP-L... then you.
last current staff member is
Commish Bio: You are a great guy, lots of enthusiasm and have really gotten better as a Roleplayer. i hope to do the stable thing about a month down the track, and if only you had been a staff member fo long enough to hate the chore of the fed as much as the rest of us do... hehehe.
Now for past VPs. Let's start with the most recent VP, and go to the eldest. That means we start with
VP-I: I made you a VP Campbell, and without doing anything as a VP, you left me up to doing Zircus. You did a lot for it however and I thank you for it. I like being your friend, and I hope you don't fuck it up again. Hehehe, anyway, I doubt you'll EVER read this so (cough, cough, cough) YOU FREAKING BITCH! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE AN ENTIRE EVENT UP TO ME ON THE NIGHT BEFORE IT HAD TO BE DONE!!!!! I HAD TO HAND-WRITE IT MYSELF USING NOTEPAD!!!
hehehe, next is
VP-B/VP Body: I'm your friend, you are my best friend. We are a team and I reckon the fact i just changed group shouldn't mean anything. I like being your friend and I think you made a big impact on UFW, congrats, and thanks for the memories (of ???).
there is noone as 'quibbly' as
Ex-VP Geno: Well, never once talked to you, never once wanted to. We dressed you in drag, a thing that DEFINATELY stuck... hehehe. I've heard rumours that you are THE Avitar of AWS, but have self-assured me that YOU could never be number one at the top wrestling top 1000. Never. I hope.
Well, now onto the members. This will all be one block of text cos there are so many people that need to have talkings about. Past and present.
Well I talk with Revenant alot, and he's cool. He has an annoying tendencies to never let go of ideas, and I think he still likes his results in comparison to the ones we edited of them. Hehehe. Havok was a fun guy to talk to. I let him into ??? and he did alot for us. It was great fun. Thanks man, but you whinged too much for the rest of the staff's liking. Jake, I didn't like much to do with you til I talked with you on MSNIM. I had good chats and its a pity you didn't become VC like you planned. Nemesis, I had fun giving you ideas and advice, and you were very promising, but after your Turkey holiday, you never really got back into the swing of things, pity. Reverend, same thing applies. Freddie (Bloodshed/Fate), you were a fun guy to talk to, I hope that you have fun as a Boarding School Student, and that your house finally gets the internet. Howler, you were a bad roleplayer. I'm serious. I'm not being a bitch, it's true. You would still be in the RS division if you hadn't gone and gotten 10 wins. You won the hardcore title because we felt sorry for you. One good thing though was your constant keenness. You were always keen. Bruiser... you were a good guy and I only wish I could have talked with you some time like i did with the other FB members. You and Body had a great match that I enjoyed thoroughly. Mayhem, you are a great guy, if only because you thought up Pedro. I hope to keep talking to you down the track some time. Scholar, I'm glad you were going to quit the fed soon anyway. That probably sounds bad, but hear me out. I wouldn't have liked for one second to close a fed with a person as good as you in it. You were a real one-in-a-million. Genocide, you were a cool guy, I would have liked to get to know you better, but I just didn't incredibly love talking to you. Not that I did all that often, so don't think I'm a dickhead, `K? Shadow, you were worse than Howler, you had his skill and the keenness of a dead mule. Sorry, but truth be told. Joker, you were a fair guy, even though you weren't a regular around the place. Ming, you were great. Showed real talent and would've gone far if you had time. I strongly suggest keeping up your efedding. PHD, you showed a good spirit, again, wish I had been given time to get to talk to you a bit and get to know you better. IMJ, you were better than your record states, but not fantastic. You should work on your skills, but not quit efedding. You showed promise. Crazy Six, had you chosen a gimmick (says me), you could've gone far. I'm very serious. Ghost/DMX, good, had fun defending UFW's honour against Pyro and Groan. Thanks. Hex, you are the Hardcore champ. The LAST hardcore champ. Your title can never be stripped off you. Ever. Well maybe one time if UFW ever starts back up. Little Joe Williams, you started off well, then died off. You were good while you lasted. Emerald Fusion, you were a good guy, but your RPs were too.... boring. Demolition Man, you had good ideas, and your interferences were fun to read as staff members (not the interferences themselves, but the idle chit/chat inbetween). Jack Frost, you were good, but needed a good gimmick. You could've been better than you left as. Dreamwalker, well he showed great promise but a lack of want. Scott Naket, if you really exist which I strongly doubt... I have nothing to say. I got your entire character out of Revenant. Guy. I never even read a post from you so again have nothing to say. I must say at this point aswell, long live the Lightning Kid Legacy. Renegade, you started to try towards the end and never had time to show off your possible skill. Assasin, you liked Tha Hoodz, which is great... read my confessions. X-Treme, you were cool... even if I never read any of your posts. Rick Phillips. I never got your thing done and I'm afraid i couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. Sorry. Never made an appearance. Pity. Humanity, never heard of him. Kamakaze, well, your porn got you quite a character, 0-10... poor you. O-Factor, never heard of you. Reaper, you weren't a real big player in UFW were you. You could have been though. Keep at it man. Sephiroth, you made a single post I believe. I neglected to read it, I'm afraid, wish i had. Sythe, you were severely poorly pushed whereas you should have been... and finally Troy Rivers, never heard of ya I'm afraid.
Now, my friends, it's time for me to make all the confessions about myself. Firstly, I'd like to say, I, with The Body, was a controller of Tha Hoodz meaning I did infact acheive my goal of acheiving all the UFW titles I was able to (although Dakk was eligible for the Cruiser and RS titles... DAMN!). I also am responsible for much of The Body's latest RPing (hence the severe lack of it). I did the World title match that I won it in (although I did not rig the match). I wrote the Stables match where the Legion won, I wrote many Hardcore title matches. I did the World Title Qualifying match and to this day have done ONE genned match for UFW. The rest were hand-written. I am proud of my written matches. I did many things for UFW's site update, but all the stuff uploaded for the proposed site update (well most of it) was uploaded to the site http://ufw.8k.com and http://www.crosswinds.net/~ufwefed/mymenus.htm . I will proceed to upload the rest of the finished stuff up to the 8k.com addy so you can make your minds up as to what the new site would have been like.
...and it is with these last words that I wrap up UFW:
